It Takes All Kinds

August 17, 2022

(Based on the 1966 song "It Takes All Kinds to Make a World" by Roger Miller)

Well, it takes all kinds to make the world turn around, big people and little folks; men and women and boys and girls, and everyone in between. Rainbows aren't just shades of one color, they are many colors, and so is the world. We know it takes all of us, not just one, so we have to make the best of it, as best we can.

As for me, well, I'm the kind of guy hard luck sure follows, step by step, day by day. It's as if it's my shadow, except even on cloudy days it's right there, attached to me, never to let go.

My friend and I went into town a while back to see a movie. It was one of those supposedly 3-D movies you have to wear those weird glasses to see properly. Without them, the movie is a bit blurry, and with them, well, it's not much better. Anyway, while watching the movie my friend's phone rang. After a short minute on the phone, he turned to me and said, "Wow! You're not going to believe this!"

"What?" I removed my stupid glasses and looked at him.

"That was the police," he removed his silly pink-rimmed glasses. "They said my house was burning down!" He stood, I stood, and we walked rather quickly out to the lobby.

Outside, I took his hand and offered him my sympathy, gave him a man-hug, and said, "Wow! That's terrible, I'm so sorry!"

Then suddenly I remembered, and he remembered, and we looked at each other in shock, he lives with me!

We both took off like we just started off in the Indy 500, jumped into my truck, and sped home as fast as the old Ford would go, which being a 70-year-old antique with its original engine, wasn't fast.

We arrived home and sure enough, our house, up in flames, right there in front of us! There was nothing we could do but fall to our knees and think of all the stuff in the house that would be forever gone. What kind of bum luck is this? I couldn't help but wonder, is this the way it's always gonna be for me? Born on the 13th, that's it, I'm just unlucky from the get-go.

Well, it takes all kinds to make a world. The lucky and the unlucky, the happy-go-lucky and the sad-sacks, the rich and the poor. It takes all kinds to make the world go around.

My world goes around and around, from one unlucky thing to another, never-ending. Why? Who am I? Gillagan?

That was a few months back when the house burned and left us living in a hotel until the insurance came through. The house was a total loss so we built a new one on the same foundation.

How unlucky can a guy get? All my stuff, all our stuff, well, insurance won't replace the photo albums and the computers, and me being who I am, with only the external now-dead hard drive for my backups.

So, we made do as best we could and moved on with our lives.

Then along comes yet another month as they always do, and there was my dastardly shadow hanging around like, well, a shadow, and it decided it was time to come out and bite me, again.

I was driving the old bumpy-truck, that old yet wonderful Ford from yesteryear, and wouldn't you know it? Two crows flew straight toward me, dead set on forcing an emergency maneuver in an old not-quick-to-turn truck with tired suspension and all. Of course, I did so as to avoid those old crows from smashing my old windshield, and what do you think happened? If you think I avoided the blackbirds of black luck, you'd be wrong. They smashed into my windshield, which then sprayed glass throughout the interior and all over my lap and my shirt and in my hair, and I raised one hand to block one of them now-dead birds away from hitting my face, and the truck went off to the left. Yeah, the left, across the lane of on-coming traffic, which was light that day, only a city-guy in his expensive and big rich-guy car. He slammed on his brakes and skidded and squealed and blasted his horn at my old rust-bucket of a truck now careening across his lane. He swerved right as I went off and into a ditch. Where he went, at that moment, I didn't know and didn't care. It wasn't just a little drainage ditch, no, it was more along the lines of a concrete-lined canal with no water in it to soften the landing. After landing nose-first into the opposite side of said canal, I managed to crawl out and up the side of the ditch, only to see the driver of the rich-guy car standing on the other side, hands on his hips, glaring at me. I could see his car parked in the cornfield on the other side of the road. It probably shouldn't have been there; those fields are not smooth places to be driving through. Especially in a car like his, my old truck, well, not a problem in the fields. I know this because I'd done it more than a few times. It's loads of fun.

So, as I was standing there, glancing from that guy and back to my truck and back to that guy and back to my truck, my phone rang.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Hey, friend! This is your lucky day!"

"Really? In what possible way?"

"Did you buy a raffle ticket two weeks ago at the county fair?"

"Yeah."

"Look at your ticket, friend! Is it number 1777?"

I took the ticket out of my wallet, looked at the number, and sure enough - 1777.

"You, my lucky friend, well, you've won a tank of gasoline! And not just one tank! Get this! You won one tank full each month for the next six months! Congratulations, Friend!"

He went on with instructions on how to claim the prize but I hardly paid attention.

"Great, thanks! I just drove my truck into the canal and you are giving me a prize of free gasoline! How generous." I disconnected and put my phone in my pocket.

Apparently, after he looked at my truck, then his car, the rich guy decided to simply leave without a word said. I watched him bounce his car through the cornfield and back onto the road. It appeared to be driving along mostly straight.

Then I turned and started walking the rest of the way into town. Steam billowed from the front of the truck. I paused, looked at my old friend, and wondered, hoped, that he'd be okay. I kind of doubted it, though. As I walked along the canal on the dusty road, I thought about how my life had been up to this moment. Let's see, as a kid, I crashed my bicycle too many times to count, as a teenager I crashed my motorcycle, though that really didn't change it much other than it stopped running as a motorcycle should do. Then came my first girlfriend, and then went my first girlfriend. Then my dog, also came and went. Then how many jobs? Couldn't I just see a little luck come my way? Once? Sure would be nice.

As I walked into town, I thought about my truck, God! I loved that truck! It was my next-best friend! Now look at it! Dead in a canal!

It takes all kinds to fill the world up, like pieces in a puzzle. There's the brave and the cautious, the quick and the careful, the dreamers and the realists. Each one different, each one needed. Without each piece, the picture wouldn't be complete.

As for me, I don't like puzzles, they throw me for a loop, and often it's a loop-di-loop, around and around. Nope, I don't like them, I get dizzy just thinking about them. I'm not brave and I have no use for dreams. I'm a farmer through and through. Though, it would be nice if a bit of good luck would come my way, once in a while.

Well, last night I had the pleasure of "her" company. She was the beauty that worked in the drug store in our little town. And when I say it was little I mean it was very small. The only paved road was the old two-lane blacktop that ran alongside our town. It was a dusty, one-horse one-tumble-weed town with two dirt roads on either side of the blacktop and four crossing roads. Being a farming town there were many more men than women, and most of the pretty women left town, or leave as soon as they can. But, that one woman at the drug store, she stayed, she teased the men, she led them on, always with a smile. All the guys in town wanted a shot at her, to woo her, to court her, and a few to get her into bed. But I actually did get to take her out. How lucky am I? I thought. Finally! A little luck has come my way! The stars have had mercy on me!

I went to the drugstore to get some of those anti-gas pills. I grow a lot of broccoli on the farm and eat too much of the stuff. Those pills are a necessary part of my life. Anyway, while there buying the anti-gas pills and feeling just a little embarrassed asking such a pretty woman for them, she was very friendly with me. So, I thought I'd push my luck a little.

"So, um, would you be interested in, maybe, you know, going out with me sometime? Maybe dinner? Or lunch? Or breakfast?" Then I realized the implications of that last part and I turned redder than the beets growing on my farm.

She giggled, so cute, I thought, and she said, "Yes, I'd like that. Dinner. How about this weekend?"

I almost died! My knees went weak and wobbled, I had to hold onto the counter to balance myself. My god! She wants to go out with me! What luck!

After a wonderful dinner, I walked her home, and she invited me in, so in we went. She poured two glasses of wine and we sat on the porch enjoying more small talk and more wine. As the evening wound on she said, "I like you, I'd like to see you again, maybe much more."

Finally, a sign! My lucky day is here! "Wow, really? Of all the guys in town that want you, you want to get to know me better? Okay, I like that, too." I'm not the best with women, obviously.

"Yes, I'd like to see more of you." She said with a wink.

Well, I took that as a hint and started to unbutton my shirt.

"What are you doing?" She took afront of my willingness to let her see more of me. She suddenly stood and then threw the wine that was in her glass at me.

I felt my new luck suddenly crashing. I stood. "Wow! I'm sorry! I misinterpreted what you meant! I'm sorry!"

She looked at me, wine dripping off my nose and chin, my shirt halfway unbuttoned and wine dripping down my chest, and she laughed. And she laughed a lot.

I frowned and sat down, wiped the wine off my face with my sleeves, and buttoned up my shirt. I thought, Seriously! I'm such a dork! What an idiot! My good luck gone bad! Why am I not surprised?

She sat down and we talked, and we went out again the next week, and the next. And I spent money like I had pockets full of the stuff.

All the guys in town said things like, "Wow! You lucky dog! You got the girl! Don't do anything stupid, now, you don't want to lose that one.

Well, as my luck would have it, I didn't have to do anything stupid. I didn't have to do anything at all. After a month of spending money on her, money that would've been better spent on other things, like bills, she hooked her arm around the arm of another woman and high-tailed it out of town, never to be seen again.

I can't believe! Just how bad can bad luck get? Of course! The hottest girl in town and she leaves me for another woman. I just can't catch a break.

It took me three months to catch up on the bills that I had put off paying while I paid for her.

Well, it takes all kinds to make the world go around, just like a song needs every note. The high and the low, the loud and the soft, the harmony and the melody. Together, we make life's music, each one adding something no one else can.

Well, if the world needs all kinds, maybe it needs someone like me, to keep the rest of 'em lucky. And if that's my role, well, I might as well get used to it, and make the best of it.